Jikan Lord VS 時間の世界 Chapter 0 Draft 1.00

Prologue
What will you do today if you know tomorrow is the end of the world? This is what I think about everyday when I wake up in my bed. Some might call me paranoid, some might even call me mad. No.. no.. I am neither. I am perfectly fine, well almost fine. If you think someone that has been hit by countless meteorite on the head everyday is okay, then I am totally okay in your eyes.

You see, I am in a unique situation here. I live on the last day on earth, everyone get killed by a meteorite twice the size of earth crashing exactly at 5:55 the next morning.Yes .. yes.. I am included in the death count but then again who is left to count?

Why am I still here well and writing? Well you see, I am sort of stuck here. By that it means every time the cursed meteorite landed on everyone including me, I wake up in my bed all sweating from what seem like a extremely bad nightmare. The only difference from a bad dream is that all this is real, the only reason why am i still alive is that I have an ability...

I escaped near death by instinctively warp myself back in time. It came with a twist, I can warp no more than 10 sec by instinct and it is only after countless actual life threatening practical  I actually manage to warp myself back a day before everything gone wacko.

And in the silence of the night,  as I close my tiring eyes, I can only dream of time not too long ago...

Jikan Lord VS Molester

OROR 

This maybe are the things needed to scare off molesters at countdown party..

This isn't the first time it happen at singapore countdown party. Last time we have ladies getting grope after being sprayed with foam at orchard road. Now this year we have molesters openly groping a lady at a countdown party against her wish. I wouldn't be surprise it happen again next year.

What amaze me this time is, people actually took video of the whole thing yet not a single person helped her? What happen to chivalry in singapore? I would like to take time to remind people of this poem.

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak out for me.


 Read the full article at
http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/caught_in_the_act/300934/countdown_party_molest_how_can_heartless_sporeans.html

http://www.youtube.com/v/TtIR-Xgx5do?

No one deserve what the victim has to go through, no matter what she is wearing. Drunk or not. those that actually sneer at this kind of thing, shame on you too.

Jikan Lord VS Newton

Newton has arrived in jikan space, i saw him on google decide to grab him in for a chat.

JL: Hey man, happy birthday! how does it feel to be celebrating your birthday after you have been dead for so long?

Newton: You kidding me? They are honoring apples everywhere in my name.

JL: Haha really? well maybe they like apples a LOT. ^^ anyway since you are here, why not give us a brief run down on whats newton's 3 laws..

Newton: Oh sure.. Woman.. beer.. s..[got cut by JL]

JL: 3 laws not 3 needs, newton.

Newton: oh okie, first law.. Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.

JL: hmm Law of Procastination?

Newton: Right! I discovered then.. when i refuse to wake up in bed every morning and my mum has to kick me out of bed.

JL; Right.. what about the 2nd law then?

Newton:  oh ya that one.. F=ma .

JL: Thats it?

Newton: yup.. the amount of force my mum used to kick me out of bed  = her body mass x the increasing speed  her foot is moving at.. I feel it first that fateful morning.

JL: ouch.. that has to hurt. Don't tell me your 3rd law has something to do with your mum as well.

Newton: goodness! Of course not, 3rd law is all about me.. you see.. after she kick me.. i woke up.. and I kick her back with the same amount of force. As such for every action there is an equal and  opposite reaction. She grounding me for a week is another example as well.

JL: I never would have guess. So any last words?

Newton: well, can you lend me 10 bucks?

JL: What the? you are one of the founding father of ...

Newton: I lose it all on the stock market.. well you know.. I can calculate lots of things.. just not mankind madness. anyway i got to go back to newton circus.. erm.. i mean circle.. bye bye.

JL: Thats all folks, till next time where we get to interview galileo, the old world peeping tom.

Jikan Lord VS Tycoon Business Partner Link

Click on the note below to be my business partner :p
need 12 more business partner!

Jikan Lord VS a Good man

"what defines a good man, is what comes to mind when this good man came into Jikan Space."

Story
 
Another man donated a kidney to a man in need of a transplant.

the twist, donor was his wife's secret lover.
2nd twist, found out his kid wasnt his own
3rd twist, his donor is father of the kid.
4th twist, they are still having an affair.

Question here.. isnt it better to let the man die of kidney failure then this?

having to be given new life by the one person you might actually want to kill.

   

Jikan Lord VS Newpaper Sotong?

A Newpaper Sotong has swim into jikan Water region!

 "A year after the man was granted custody of his daughter following his divorce, his ex-wife applied successfully for a personal protection order (PPO) against him on behalf of the daughter."  Said Sotong

"She claimed that he had molested, slapped, kicked, caned and attempted to rape the girl while she was under his car"

Sotong: "You hear it right.. under his car! He manage to molest,slap, kick and caned even attempt to rape under his car."

Jikan Lord: "He have a really BIG car then..."

http://www.tnp.sg/news/story/0,4136,225614,00.html?

Jikan Lord VS Fortune Teller

A fortune teller has entered Jikan Space using Google!

Jikan lord: "What brings you here strange one."

Fortune Teller: "Happy New Year! I am here to bring ill news to this people whom might have offended the gods"

Jikan lord: "Speak and be quick about it."

Fortune Teller: "its the Year of the Tiger as such the following people will need to make offering to 太岁 as they have 犯太岁 "

    




Jikan lord: "Interesting! thanks for telling me about this, strange one."

Jikan Lord VS Potatoe Man

A Cross Breed between a potato and transformer has enter jikan Space.

+ = 

Mr Potatoe:  you know who is brave enough to sit on top of a potato?

"男子汉, because 男子汉敢做敢当 (敢坐gan dang)" : Jikan Lord


Mr Potatoe upon hearing this turn pale, transform back into a potato and roll out.

*Gan dang: Hokkien for potato
Many thanks to andy for telling me the answer. ^^

Jikan Lord VS Naked man

A naked man manage to enter the realm of Jikan Space!
Naked Man:  "I don't think i am in kansas anymore."

Obviously he has way too many of one of this..  
http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/what_bugs_me/299222/nude_man_walks_around_aimlessly.html

"Jikan Security Forces send the guy out of here pls!" shouted Jikan Lord

Jikan Lord VS Amazon

The Amazon has manage to find their ways into the jikan space!

They carry with them tons of stuff which they sell as shiny holy artifacts to ignorant tribals.

Amazon: "We... come... here... to ... show .. you ... this.."
amazon brings out shiny tin can.
"This.. is.. good.. stuff... will ... bring .. .you .. many... shiny... gold.. coins.. "

and this is what they show me..

                                
                     

"Okie I am convinced you guys sell everything." answered Jiken Lord, "And after i sell 200, 000,000 of these and MAYBE i can retired."
Do Comment here if you do buy one of this, maybe i can start a " I bet i can find 200 million people who will buy this item from my post @ http://jikan-lord.blogspot.com/ " FB group or something.