Monday, January 4, 2010

Jikan Lord VS Newton

Newton has arrived in jikan space, i saw him on google decide to grab him in for a chat.

JL: Hey man, happy birthday! how does it feel to be celebrating your birthday after you have been dead for so long?

Newton: You kidding me? They are honoring apples everywhere in my name.Apple iMac MB950LL/A 21.5-Inch Desktop

JL: Haha really? well maybe they like apples a LOT. ^^ anyway since you are here, why not give us a brief run down on whats newton's 3 laws..

Newton: Oh sure.. Woman.. beer.. s..[got cut by JL]Mastering Homebrewing: Beer Maker's Bible

JL: 3 laws not 3 needs, newton.

Newton: oh okie, first law.. Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.

JL: hmm Law of Procastination?

Newton: Right! I discovered then.. when i refuse to wake up in bed every morning and my mum has to kick me out of bed.

JL; Right.. what about the 2nd law then?

Newton:  oh ya that one.. F=ma .

JL: Thats it?

Newton: yup.. the amount of force my mum used to kick me out of bed  = her body mass x the increasing speed  her foot is moving at.. I feel it first that fateful morning.

JL: ouch.. that has to hurt. Don't tell me your 3rd law has something to do with your mum as well.

Newton: goodness! Of course not, 3rd law is all about me.. you see.. after she kick me.. i woke up.. and I kick her back with the same amount of force. As such for every action there is an equal and  opposite reaction. She grounding me for a week is another example as well.

JL: I never would have guess. So any last words?

Newton: well, can you lend me 10 bucks?

JL: What the? you are one of the founding father of ...

Newton: I lose it all on the stock market.. well you know.. I can calculate lots of things.. just not mankind madness. anyway i got to go back to newton circus.. erm.. i mean circle.. bye bye.

JL: Thats all folks, till next time where we get to interview galileo, the old world peeping tom.

The Principia : Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Jikan Lord VS Tycoon Business Partner Link

Click on the note below to be my business partner :p
need 12 more business partner!

Tychoon From PCIA - Mysteries of the Century/ Oligarkh iz NKVD - Tainy Veka

Jikan Lord VS a Good man

"what defines a good man, is what comes to mind when this good man came into Jikan Space."

Story
Oversize Diseased Kidney Anatomy Model with Patient Education Card 
Another man donated a kidney to a man in need of a transplant.

the twist, donor was his wife's secret lover.
2nd twist, found out his kid wasnt his own
3rd twist, his donor is father of the kid.
4th twist, they are still having an affair.

Question here.. isnt it better to let the man die of kidney failure then this?

having to be given new life by the one person you might actually want to kill.

  Living with Chronic Kidney Disease (Home Use) Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On -- Together or Apart

Friday, January 1, 2010

Jikan Lord VS Newpaper Sotong?

A Newpaper Sotong has swim into jikan Water region!Wildlife / Domestic Animals : Giant Squid 30" Plush Stuffed Animal Toy

 "A year after the man was granted custody of his daughter following his divorce, his ex-wife applied successfully for a personal protection order (PPO) against him on behalf of the daughter."  Said Sotong


"She claimed that he had molested, slapped, kicked, caned and attempted to rape the girl while she was under his car"

Sotong: "You hear it right.. under his car! He manage to molest,slap, kick and caned even attempt to rape under his car."

Jikan Lord: "He have a really BIG car then..."

Jikan Lord VS Fortune Teller

A fortune teller has entered Jikan Space using Google!


Jikan lord: "What brings you here strange one."


Fortune Teller: "Happy New Year! I am here to bring ill news to this people whom might have offended the gods"


Jikan lord: "Speak and be quick about it."


Fortune Teller: "its the Year of the Tiger as such the following people will need to make offering to 太岁 as they have 犯太岁 "


Disney Exclusive 12 Inch Plush Toy TiggerTub Time 2008 Hallmark Keepsake Ornament  TY BB 2.0 Slithery-Snake  The Muppets 18" Miss Piggy Plush Doll




Jikan lord: "Interesting! thanks for telling me about this, strange one."




Jikan Lord VS Potatoe Man

A Cross Breed between a potato and transformer has enter jikan Space.

Potato: A History of the Propitious EsculentTransformersMr. Potato Head

Mr Potatoe:  you know who is brave enough to sit on top of a potato?

"男子汉, because 男子汉敢做敢当 (敢坐gan dang)" : Jikan Lord


Mr Potatoe upon hearing this turn pale, transform back into a potato and roll out.

*Gan dang: Hokkien for potato

Many thanks to andy for telling me the answer. ^^

Jikan Lord VS Naked man

A naked man manage to enter the realm of Jikan Space!
Naked Man:  "I don't think i am in kansas anymore."

Obviously he has way too many of one of this..  Baileys Original Irish Cream Chocolates Holiday Gift Box By Turin Chocolates 1lb 1.6 Ounces
http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/what_bugs_me/299222/nude_man_walks_around_aimlessly.html

"Jikan Security Forces send the guy out of here pls!" shouted Jikan Lord

Jikan Lord VS Amazon

The Amazon has manage to find their ways into the jikan space!

They carry with them tons of stuff which they sell as shiny holy artifacts to ignorant tribals.

Amazon: "We... come... here... to ... show .. you ... this.."
amazon brings out shiny tin can.
"This.. is.. good.. stuff... will ... bring .. .you .. many... shiny... gold.. coins.. "

and this is what they show me..

FULL FRONTAL SCREEN PROTECTOR SHIELD FOR APPLE IPHONE                     Tiffany Lamp Pane 20 x 1 One .01 Cent US Unted States Postage stamps           Dream Wireless IPOD NANO 4G SCREEN PROTECTOR
Premium 4ft USB Charging/Data Cable for AT&T Cingular Tilt, HTC Touch, Qwest 6700Q, Telus 6700, Alltel PPC6700, Verizon XV6700, Cingular 8525, Cingular 8125 Wizard, Cingular 2125, T-mobile SDA, T-mobile Dash, Excalibur / S620, T-mobile MDA, T-mobile Wing, T-mobile Sidekick Slide, T-Mobile Shadow, T-mobile Sidekick LX, Audiovox 5600, Verizon XV6800            IPOD USB 2.0 TO IPOD SYNC /CHARGING CABLE         Apple Ipod Nano 4th 4G Generation Premium Screen Protector

"Okie I am convinced you guys sell everything." answered Jiken Lord, "And after i sell 200, 000,000 of these and MAYBE i can retired."
Do Comment here if you do buy one of this, maybe i can start a " I bet i can find 200 million people who will buy this item from my post @ http://jikan-lord.blogspot.com/ " FB group or something.